Friday, February 6, 2015

Fifty Shades of Wonderful

Love yourself unconditionally.

I'm not going on a rant. I'm not going to lecture anyone. This isn't your typical "Fifty Shades" bashing.

I've read many books and seen many movies. I've thoroughly enjoyed horror, love, literature and other types of reading pleasures. One of my favorite series is Diana Gabaldon's "Outlander" books. There's plenty of everything in these books, yes, sex too, but I think we are all missing the point here.

I am no one to judge. Please carry on with your day and feel no regrets. I'm speaking today to our young girls. In that category I mean our very small children and young teens. In today's society, they are exposed to so much more than I was back in the dinosaur era. I grew up with television, movies, records and books. And yes, some of it influenced me very very much. Especially the lyrics to many songs. I became curious and began to wonder about such things that were extremely explicit at the time.

The main problem with "Fifty Shades" is simply this: it's teaching young ladies that it's okay to let a man dominate you even to the point of telling you how much you should weigh and how your body should look. I read a few chapters of this book at the suggestion of a friend, waiting for the love story that eventually blossoms. But as someone who has been in verbally abusive, controlling relationships, it sickened me. I cannot for one minute advocate a man telling a woman she MUST work out, she must be a certain "type" if she's to be with him.

Our poor young girls have enough with the razor thin models gracing the covers of our magazines and blatantly pasted all over the internet and television. So now they must believe that the only way to "get" a man and keep him is to totally obey him? Especially where it comes to looks?

Give me old-fashioned values and manners. Give me conscience and morals. Yeah, I've messed up, perhaps a lot in my life. There are times I'm not proud of and relationships I wish I could erase from memory, but please, young people, open your eyes. I'm not just another grandma lady preaching at you. Love yourself for who you are. Love your weight, your face shape, your eyes, your nose, your ears, whatever it is you think needs changed or worked on. Be content with who you are, who God made you to be. And never let a man abuse that confidence.

In a marriage in my early twenties, I was with a "pretty boy" who constantly made me feel less than. When we'd first met, it was all compliments and love. But a change began to occur. I had never known at the time what a manipulator he was. I hadn't known that there were multiple affairs and women calling the house, hanging up. I hadn't known he'd eventually leave me in the dust for someone "better looking." Oh yes, it happens every day.

My self-esteem suffered for years because of this. I never lived up to the distorted reality of what I should be, or what I should look like. I punished myself for years thinking I deserved this, and it was my fault, and if only I was prettier, thinner, whatever. I wasted precious, valuable time with this lifestyle.

The bottom line ladies is this once again. Love yourself. Be proud of who you are. Find healthy relationships with men who adore you, who want to see you grow. Don't let anyone make you feel less than. You are God's beautiful masterpiece, and remember, He doesn't create junk. You are who you are for a very special reason. And that is fifty shades of wonderful.


  1. Karen, I've not read the book and I don't plan on seeing the movie. I hear what you are saying and I say right on.
    Our young women should love themselves for who they are. The media hype and all that goes on with swimsuit figures etc. just makes it harder for women.
    Thanks for an honest and insightful post!
    xo Joanne

    1. Thank you for the comment, Joanne.....much appreciated!

  2. Karen perfectly wonderful post! I have not read the book, but I probably will see the movie. I DO know about it (as everyone does!) and I think women should always love themselves for who they are. I think there are going to be some bad repercussions once the movie is officially released. Oh Karen, can you please add follow by email to your blog? I sooo want to follow and I prefer following that way so that they go to my email.

    1. Thank you Caren for the comment, and I'll try to see if I can add that....can you give me any suggestions on how to "add" that feature? I'm in the dark sometimes about technology! Haha. But thank you again!!