Friday, August 3, 2012


Who begins this vicious ride of insecurity?  Is it our parents, our grandparents?  Is it inborn, or does it develop little by little in our childhood.

It is an unwelcome companion in my life.  Long have I fought to rid myself of the torturous road of insecurity.  Long have I failed, only to let it hold me down, keep me down. 

What advice would I give my son, my beloved family members, my dear friends?  What can I tell you that will perhaps keep away, the unwanted companion which pokes its ugly head up on a daily basis?

Think back to a really good day.  A day when the evils of self-loathing didn't appear at all.  Rest in that day, letting good thoughts bathe you in their splendour.  I think our evil companion never showed up on a day like that.  I think thoughts of light, love, God perhaps, are what holds the enemy at bay.

What is your enemy?  What is the anchor which weighs you down?  For me, it has always been the stigma of my scoliosis, the fact I was different in so many ways from others.   A time in my young adulthood when I should have been thinking thoughts of boys, makeup, fun.   The bullies in school who preyed upon a young girl's worst nightmare. 

I have talked before about these ghosts, I have exorcised some of these demons.  Yet it is only in reading God's word, His holy bible, where I can truly find the rest and peace which I yearn for.  He tells me I am beloved, beautiful, blessed.  He tells me I can call upon Him any hour of the day or night.  How can I fear anything then, even something as strong as my insecurity, past voices, bad memories.

If it has been a long time since you opened the Good Book, don't wait another moment.  Browse through the Psalms and their words of comfort.  Check out the gospels and Jesus' words to all of us.  Read an inspirational book, listen to a grand song.  Watch a movie which makes you think and makes you cry.

Bask in the healing light of God.  Let us rid ourselves of anything which threatens our peace.  Let us encourage one another in this journey of life.