Lately I've Been Thinking

How many times have we said this saying? But lately, I have been thinking. As I approach another birthday, I see lines on my face which weren't there a few short years ago. I feel the ache of my bones, joints creaking when I sit too long, or the overuse of muscles from a hard day's work. I sigh in melancholy thinking about days gone by, pondering long over old photos, my hand resting upon them, willing those times to return.

I remember as a child, the trips we took as a family. Not the magnificent Walt Disney vacations most people go to now. These were simple, short trips. West View Park, about a half-hour away, playing games, riding kiddie rides, eating too much sticky, sweet food. And the very special overnight trips to Conneaut Lake Park, about an hour-and-a-half drive. Staying in old bungalows, some with sagging roofs, evidence of rodents, with the stuffing pulled from old sofas, the smell of mold and mildew. Cold, rainy mornings, but brilliant sunshine later in the day. A nighttime nip to the air staying in the old slightly haunted Conneaut Hotel by the lake.

I've been thinking about beloved pets long gone, the dogs who happily licked my face, the cats that spent hours listening to a little girl's tales. Birds, fish, a parade of hamsters and when they'd breathed their last, my mother always telling me they'd ran away to spare me of the pain of their deaths.

Mom and Dad. Older now, still beautiful people with beautiful hearts. Mom, as she made stories up, giving me the love of an imagination. Dad, as he patiently built crystal radio kits, helped me with homework, or explained football to me on a Sunday afternoon.

A baby brother born fourteen years after I'd been an only child. The closeness we shared as I watched him grow. The friendship, laughter and special secrets shared.

My own son. Now twenty-six years old, a young man with visions and his own dreams, own memories.

Yes, I'm all grown up now and I have been thinking. . . Yet the promise of future and hope is on the horizon, the events to look forward to with anticipation. Treasure your old memories, but don't linger with them too long. Let them pass as you make room for new ones.

Broad Spectrum And Other Things

I am a firm believer in promoting for others, in helping people fulfill their dreams. What better way than to share about one another? After all, how would the word be spread if not for one person at a time?

Today I share an interview from a very talented young man. I met him through Facebook on my journey of self-promotion, yet found such a good person, and amazingly versatile artist. I say artist, but not in the sense of drawing, sculpting or painting. For you see, there is so much more to the creative world than meets the eye. Take a look at Max Christian aka Jack Renard.

1. Tell me a little about yourself. What motivates you? What are some of your passions?

I'm a 20-something designer, voice actor, and all around digital storyteller. Ever since I was a little boy, I've literally dreamed of wild, impossible worlds I thought I'd never see. As I grew older, I discovered that art in all its expressions--and for me specifically, film--is a window through which we can experience worlds and stories we could never encounter in daily life. That's why I've devoted my career to using visual media to make those storyworlds real.

Although I appreciate the natural world, I tend to gravitate towards stories that defy it, so I really enjoy science fiction, fantasy, and the paranormal. Mythology is an especially magnificent obsession of mine. And for some reason I can't explain, I love costumed heroes--especially Zorro. That's what I really want to be when I grow up.

2. Walk us through Broad Spectrum. Was this your brainchild? Who is involved and why? What are some of your goals with it? What are your plans with it for the future?

Broad Spectrum actually came about when Neil Lee Griffin, Josh Moeller, and I found each other. Neil's an expert in music & sound, Josh can build any prop/set/costume/doomsday machine, and I move things around on a screen until it looks good. When we saw that together we could cover sight, sound, and action with our unique talents, we decided to make our own entertainment production company, Super Friends style. We were really idealistic back then--we thought it would be sunshine, puppies, and chocolate all the way to the Oscars. Thankfully Josh's wife Amber really stepped up to the plate and made sure we did what we needed in order to turn it into a real venture, business plan and all.

Originally we did a lot of commissioned work for local clients. We strived to cater to any media need, shooting music videos, crafting TV pilots, and scoring original compositions for anyone who phoned us up. This got us the capital to start focusing on our own productions. Since then, I've assumed a heavy leadership role, but Neil, Josh, Amber, and our other collaborators still work as a team.

We made the jump from commissioned work to original productions in 2011 with an animated web series ("Let's Destroy Metal Gear") based off the popular video game Metal Gear Solid. It blew up overnight and has since become our most famous production with over 1.5 million views. After a hiatus in 2012, we've returned with 3 unique animated web series and a podcast each month, in addition to producing Neil's individual albums. Currently we'd like to move into film shorts & live stage productions, as well as offer other aspiring creators a chance at additional exposure through our YouTube channel as a network.

3. Tell about the comic you work with. What gives you the ideas for this? Is Max Christian one of the characters?

We're currently working with 3 separate comics, but the one we're most proud of is Gunnerkrigg Court. It's actually a pretty complex story penned and illustrated by the phenomenally talented Tom Siddell. Everything revolves around the adventures of the curious Antimony Carver at the even curiouser school of Gunnerkrigg Court. There's a heavy dose of mythology and the paranormal, but the story as a whole really defies classification by any one genre. Parts of it are comedy, drama, romance, even horror. Siddell really makes it blend together in this incredibly unique mix.

As animator and voice actor for the motion comic releases of Gunnerkrigg Court, it's my job to actually breathe life into the characters I act as well as the rest of the Court through the animation. The most challenging aspect for me is finding the right balance of staying faithful to Tom's vision for the story while still putting my best touch on it.

There's actually a funny story behind "Max Christian"--he's my legal name! When I began work in entertainment I picked up the stage name Jack Renard based on some of my favorite mythical figures (Jack of the Lanterns, Renard the Fox). For a long time I considered legally changing it, but it just wouldn't be practical to have all of my education and accolades attributed to Devin Maxwell Christian. I'm also the last son in the Christian line, so I didn't want to responsible for snuffing out the family name. You'll still find me credited as Renard in all of my entertainment work though.

(Ironically it was years after I took my pseudonym that I found Tom Siddell had cast Renard the Fox as one of the main characters in Gunnerkrigg Court.)

4. You mentioned journalism recently. Do you have a background in this already? Is it something you've always been interested in?

Really it's a means to an end. I'm actually pursuing my degree in Mass Media Arts, which is all about television and Internet media production, yet it's offered through the Journalism college at UGA. Journalism, communication, and media tend to be intertwined so closely that you can't separate them. Of course I'm interested in anything that involves talking to millions of people, but I'd rather be making stories up than just reporting!

5. What other interests do you have that may be related to your passions and dreams?

I absolutely love adventure--my favorite book (closely ranked with The Count of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers!) is Don Quixote. I know Cervantes meant the novel to lampoon the works of chivalry, but I loved how it portrayed a man so convicted in his beliefs that he refused to accept anyone telling him otherwise. Plus it was hilarious.

I try to keep that spirit of adventure in my daily life. Trying new things, exploring new places, I can't get enough of it. I've actually started training in parkour as a way to keep in shape and live out my superhero dreams. It's all about discovering your environment and traversing it in the most efficient way possible. A bad leg injury took me out of it for several weeks, but I'm looking forward to getting back out there.

6. Where do you see yourself in ten years?

I'd like to see Broad Spectrum Studios incorporated, and I'd like it to be a hub network for talented individuals across music, film, and even video games who haven't been able to break into the big-time industry. Essentially a combination of the YouTube and Kickstarter models with a focus on discovering fresh entertainment perspectives. Specifically, entertainment that's going to do more than distract its viewers for a few hours--entertainment that makes people think.

The great thing about myth is it entertains us while it teaches us. The classic Athenian Tragedies were a way for citizens to meet and ruminate on important social issues, and I see no reason modern media can't evoke the same results. At the risk of sounding grandiose, I'd like to revive mythology with media at its heart.

7. Where can we find you? (social media) Provide links....

The Broad Spectrum Studios YouTube channel is the center for most of my work and interaction:
http://www.youtube.com/user/BroadSpectrumStudios

But you're also welcome to find me on Facebook and ask questions, critique my work, lodge hate mail, etc. :
https://www.facebook.com/d.maxwell.christian

Childhood Innocence

The little blonde-haired girl looked up at me, sparkling blue eyes on a face filled with wonderment. "Aunty Kar," she said in a voice much like the sweetest Disney character ever. "I wanna be a princess for trick-or-treat." I knelt down, giving her a hug,  remarking on what a wonderful idea that was. My heart cracked for her, this innocent little child, my niece, Elizabeth, three years old. What will life hold for her, what's in store? No matter what path she may take as she grows, right here in this moment, she's a little princess in her mind.

We played in an old-fashioned sprinkler, turned to its lowest setting since her baby sister only likes it that way. We splashed in the puddle on the sidewalk, wetting our bare feet, the three of us, giggling as if it was only us. A special, heartfelt moment for me, seeing their smiles, these two little girls, feeling their joy in the simpleness of the day. Warm sunshine surrounded us, bees buzzing in the nearby zinnias, my father's prized flowers. The youngest, Elena, a face full of awe, reached toward the delicate blossom at one point, and I gently guided her to lovingly caress the flower, to be careful so we could enjoy it, especially since we didn't want to upset Pappy. A little child can understand beauty and want to care for it, for she stroked the petals with her chubby little fingers as if petting a small animal.

In moments like these, I thank God above for becoming an aunt. Though I'm not a grandparent yet, I know what it must feel like to have that special bond for your grandchildren. I understand the innocence, awe and amazement these precious little ones feel as they experience life for the first time.

May they both blossom like the beautiful flowers. May their lives be whole and good, blessed and loving. May they come to know God and goodness. And may I be there with them as they grow, teaching and guiding, playing and learning from them what its like to be innocent again.

I love you Elizabeth and Elena.

The Love of My Parents

Laughter, love, warmth, caring, companionship, friendship, happiness, tears, good times, bad times, sickness, health, understanding, peace. These are the words I choose to describe my parent's marriage. It's well over fifty years. Fifty. They've stayed together through difficulties and triumphs. Through heartbreak and heartfelt moments. They knew what it was like to have plenty, and knew what it was like to have barely anything. Yet they never faltered, not once.

In this world where it's so easy to throw things away, even relationships, it amazes me to see two people with the bond my parents have. Certainly it was no different when they were younger. They, too, had moments where I'm sure it didn't feel like they could take it any longer. But something kept them together.

I've seen my dad at Mother's side through difficult years growing up. With tenderness and understanding I saw him caring for her, never giving up hope in the darkest of moments. And saw that same love reciprocated as she stood by Dad during latter years and his own health issues. Times we weren't even sure he'd be there another day while, with faith, she remained steadfast.

It's with gratitude I watch them even today, a twinkle in Dad's eyes when Mom walks into the room. He'd do anything for her. Anything to make her smile, to give her a few moments of happiness. And Mom in her way, gives back to my father. With homey, delicious baked goods, and hot meals, she still has the knack in the kitchen, the way to a man's heart.

My parents are simple folks. Two people who enjoy sitting upon their front porch, their small water fountain trickling before them, hummingbirds darting to and fro at the feeder. A few pieces of bread thrown out to other feathered friends make for moments of enjoyment. An occasional hot roast beef sandwich shared from one of the local restaurants, some instant scratch tickets hoping for a win; watching a beloved movie, the kind you know every line. Worn photo albums, their covers dusty, pages falling apart. Classical music from scratchy vinyl records, one's they've listened to many, many times.  These are the things they share, the small things that bind them, giving them comfort in their later years.

I pray I've learned what it takes to be content in whatever the circumstances in a marriage. After all, I've had years of watching, years of gleaning all the knowledge I could from two people whose love has only grown stronger with every passing day.

Not just another "animal" story

We've all heard dramatic tales of owners and their beloved pets of many years becoming separated when a move is taking place, the pet becomes lost  somehow, or runs away. I've always found these tales to be almost unbelievable. How can a dog travel hundreds of miles, following some sort-of scent, only to be reunited with his cherished owner weeks later?

The power of "belonging" and how even an animal may feel this way, was taught to me in a big way many years ago.

We've always owned cats, even a dog, but sometimes the occasional "stray" would find its way into our yard. My mom, being the kind-hearted pet lover she was, would make certain food and water was left out daily causing the stray to return time and again. One such year, a scruffy-looking orange male tabby cat, stole his way into our hearts. He appeared to be the type of cat that nobody wanted: a bit worse for wear, an old "Tom" type cat. That time, Mom went a bit farther than before. She let him into our house, worrying over the weather conditions. She made a small bed for him out of some old blankets and put them in a corner of the kitchen where he slept many blissful hours away.

A time came when he wasn't looking so well. Mom could tell he was very sick. My brother and I, also being animal lovers decided to take him to the local vet. Maybe there was something the doctor could do to make him a bit more comfortable perhaps. We had no cat carrier, and the old boy was moving so slowly, we bundled him into some blankets and off we went.

We pulled into the parking lot of the animal clinic, and I opened the door with Mr. Kitty in my arms. Now you have to remember, this is a cat that barely moved except to eat a little from his food dish and then returned quickly to his bedding. The cat bolted from my arms, ran across a road and disappeared into a heavily wooded area. My brother and I frantically drove around for the longest time, calling for a cat that had no name. We never found him.

I felt a sort-of relief in some ways. He was out of our concern now, and hopefully would live out his remaining days in peace somewhere.

Weeks went by, and life settled into a routine. My parents returned from a trip to the grocery store one day when Dad made a startling discovery. "Look who's back, hon," he said and pointed. There, at the end of the driveway sat old, orange Tom cat, the cat who had no name. A cat who really wasn't "ours". He'd made his way over several miles and at least two or more weeks to come back to what he felt was "home." Perhaps nobody in his little kitty life had ever treated him with such respect and kindness. A short time later, he ran away, never to be seen again. I'd like to think he came to say goodbye to a family who loved him just for a little bit.

Stuttering Foundation

Humbled, honored and blessed to have my book available on the awesome website of  the Stuttering Foundation.

If you stutter, if you feel the insecurity, loneliness or stigma of a stammer, you're not alone. Please know there are organizations out there to help you feel welcome, help you find your place in the world. Open your heart and your life to all the wonderful possibilities in store for you.

There are many resources available to you, reading material, sites to visit. My fictional book, Shadow of My Father's Secret is also available as a resource, though fiction, you'll become immersed in the world of twenty-year-old Aaron, born with a stutter, trying to find the love and acceptance of a father who rejects him. Come away feeling as if you've just made a good friend in the person of Aaron. Walk in his shoes and learn to forgive, find your talents, and live the life God created you to live.

Take a look at the Stuttering Foundation's amazing website. You'll make a friend or two along the way.

 http://www.stutteringhelp.org/books-stuttering

http://www.amazon.com/Shadow-Fathers-Secret-Karen-Malena/dp/0988922525/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369878564&sr=1-4&keywords=karen+malena

http://pinterest.com/stutteringfdn/#_=_

http://www.stutteringhelp.org/

Do you want to go to the parade?

A knock on my door, and my neighbor, Zach appeared, with a question I didn't think I'd ever hear from him again. "Do you want to walk up to the parade?"

Just this morning I'd been thinking about him. It was a yearly ritual,  walking up to the yearly Memorial Day parade together.

Zach has been a wonderful kid, courteous and kind. Always with a smile, always  polite. But as he approaches his teen years, I figured he would never want to attend a parade, let alone, ask me.

 I've seen him grow as the years progressed from a cute little kid who loved trick or treat night and playing ball with his daddy,  into a taller version of himself, with thoughts of playing football for his school team on his mind now. Yet one thing has remained through the years: he's never changed who he is. With good parent's guidance, Zach has always been a great kid. He asks me if he can help when he sees me outside doing yard work. And when company is here, he politely shakes hands with everyone, having conversation with them like an adult.

So it was with a bit of surprise, I opened my door to find Zach asking the question once more. "Do you want to walk up to the parade?" A lump formed in my throat. We have this time once more, I thought. How much longer until you're a teenager, thoughts of girls and your whole life before you?

He'll always be special to me. I've felt like an auntie more than a neighbor. I think he'll do great things someday. And if he feels uncomfortable as he gets a little older talking to me while he's with friends, I'll understand that time passes as a child grows into adulthood. They always come back though. They never lose their roots. I'll be here, watching, praying, hoping for the best in his life.

Thank You For Teaching Me

     

 Recently I had lunch with a wonderful man I'm honored to know; my former employer. We'd met one day at Maple Restaurant, an old establishment in Ambridge, the small, homey town I grew up in. All the pleasant talk and chatter with him brought me back. Back to a time when I was young, the whole world before me.......

      When I graduated business school at eighteen, I was faced with the daunting task of job hunting. What to do? Go on interviews that the school would provide, all of them in the downtown Pittsburgh area? No way.
     As chance would have it, my mother was looking through the paper one day and spotted an ad: Dental Assistant, will train....it read. When she saw it was the dentist I'd gone to as a little girl, she encouraged me to call.
     Dental Assistant? What on earth?
     Thirty some years later, I've never looked back. The dental field has been extremely rewarding for me, teaching me compassion, patience, caring and understanding.
     The man who would help me learn these lessons and many others is my former boss, Dr. Alvin Zamba. A quiet, good soul, this man would teach me more about life, people, work ethics and goodness than I would ever learn elsewhere. With his gentle approach to our patients in the dental office we worked together for twenty seven years, Dr. Zamba showed me that honesty and hard work are the traits we should all strive for.
     The dental work we put out through the years was impeccable. A periodontist, gum specialist, in our area would call Dr. Zamba, "Beaver County's Most Well-Kept Secret". And he was. Our fees were reasonable, and the work of his hands, incredible. Our satisfied patients would tell me in private, how pleased they were with their appointments.
     In all the years working with Dr. Zamba, I would not miss a day's work. I looked forward to the bond and closeness with the elderly patients we saw on a daily basis. I listened to their problems, hopes and dreams. I laughed with them and cried with them.
     Several times, the doctor and I went to the bedside of a sick, older man in his own home. He didn't have much longer to live, but his family wanted him to have dentures made for whatever time he had left. I think of that now, how my boss took the time out of his busy day, and the comfort of working in our office to do this for the family.
     Yes, there were testy moments, as there were only the two of us working together for many years, and maybe my temper wanted to flare at times, but keeping myself in check was also another lesson. First and foremost, respect of my employer, and learning to hold my tongue when I may not have agreed with something.
     I miss those days, a simpler time in a small town, in an old-fashioned office decorated in antiques with no frills, no computer, no exciting major equipment. Only the tools and skills of a wonderful man, a man I am pleased to have called "boss" for many years.
     Here's to you, Dr. Zamba, in thankfulness for all I learned at your side.

Don't let anything hold you back

Neil Lee Griffin
has already been a staple in the upstate music scene for years. The singer/songwriter/composer developed a stutter at an early age which only fueled the pursuit of music wherein the stutter disappears. With tastes as varied as his skill set, Griffin always challenges himself to create a distinct, unique sound for every album he produces. While much of his music tends toward the genres of rock & pop, don’t be surprised to see him dabbling in jazz, metal, world music, and more!
In late 2010 Griffin adopted a scarecrow as a symbol to represent his work, in that the scarecrow is silent but knows all about the world. Griffin explains that the scarecrow is symbolic of his stuttering. In the media stuttering is often made fun of, implying that the stutterer is stupid. Griffin explains that “we’re like the scarecrow in that we may be slow to speak or silent, but we are not stupid.”
“Empty House” (2007) marks Neil Lee Griffin’s first album which combines haunting instrumental pieces with fist-pumping punk rock songs. His sophomore release entitled “Circe De Morte” (2008) a haunting rock opera of a vengeful circus took the artist in a new even darker direction incorporating the use of a digital orchestra. In 2010 he released “V3″, featuring a softer sound than previous work. Here he tells a story of a cosmonaut’s struggle with finding happiness in the stars or on earth. His 2011 fourth album entitled “Tanglewylde” takes Griffin in yet another direction with a more rootsy element laced with harder rock sounds while retaining the dark moody aspect of the majority of his music. In 2012 “The Diary of Scarlett Crow” will be released. A chilling story of a young woman coming to grips with the twisted world around her, but things my not be what they seem.

Check out Neil's awesome website and "like" his Scarecrow page:

 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Scarecrows/137763163060242?fref=ts

http://neilleegriffin.wix.com/scarecrow#!scarecrows/cfd6

Buy Neil's CD here:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009191V5Y/ref=as_li_tf_til?tag=socialdistra-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=B009191V5Y&adid=1EN2S5RSK80QCV33PHM6&&ref-refURL=http%3A%2F%2Fupstaterocks.us%2Fneil-lee-griffin%2F%3Ffb_comment_id%3Dfbc_408054255951463_2716410_447412065349015

In Aaron's Pain-filled voice

     Recently I've joined several sites on Facebook which deal with stuttering and many people have asked me why I chose to write about a young man who stutters.
     The main character in my novel Shadow of My Father's Secret is Aaron DeAngelis. Born with a stuttering problem, dealing with his father's verbal abuse, Aaron comes to feel worthless and unloved. I've chosen this subject matter because I believe at one time or another in our lives, we've always felt the stigma of an impediment. Maybe yours was being too short, or too tall. Maybe it was having acne or being overweight. Maybe, like myself it was the stigma of curvature of the spine. But we've all had something to deal with. The feelings of worthlessness and insecurity may also be something we've dealt with either due to our impediment or a host of other reasons.
     The character in my book becomes a high school bully as a result of being made fun of. He has taken verbal assaults not only from his father, but kids in school, and as a result, begins to strike out at them. In real life, children are the victims of bullying. Children with impediments and differences.
     Let's open our eyes friends. Lets try to really look inside at the heart of the person before we decide to judge if they're beautiful enough, tall enough, skinny enough or just plain normal. What is normal anyway? Let's stop viewing the world and those in it with judgmental eyes. Let's take the time to really get to know a person. Maybe they'll become one of the best friends you've ever had. Perhaps you'll learn something from them, or have something to offer yourself.
     Stuttering, like all other "stigmas" is a part of life. My curvature of the spine, though hard to deal with at times, has made me a better person. It's given me the compassion to look at others through different eyes. May we all find the courage to befriend someone with "differences", someone who may just change our lives for the better as we accept them and grow into the person God wants us to become.

   http://www.amazon.com/Shadow-my-Fathers-Secret-ebook/dp/B00C50FKJE/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1365980927&sr=1-5&keywords=karen+malena