Recently I've joined several sites on Facebook which deal with stuttering and many people have asked me why I chose to write about a young man who stutters.
The main character in my novel Shadow of My Father's Secret is Aaron DeAngelis. Born with a stuttering problem, dealing with his father's verbal abuse, Aaron comes to feel worthless and unloved. I've chosen this subject matter because I believe at one time or another in our lives, we've always felt the stigma of an impediment. Maybe yours was being too short, or too tall. Maybe it was having acne or being overweight. Maybe, like myself it was the stigma of curvature of the spine. But we've all had something to deal with. The feelings of worthlessness and insecurity may also be something we've dealt with either due to our impediment or a host of other reasons.
The character in my book becomes a high school bully as a result of being made fun of. He has taken verbal assaults not only from his father, but kids in school, and as a result, begins to strike out at them. In real life, children are the victims of bullying. Children with impediments and differences.
Let's open our eyes friends. Lets try to really look inside at the heart of the person before we decide to judge if they're beautiful enough, tall enough, skinny enough or just plain normal. What is normal anyway? Let's stop viewing the world and those in it with judgmental eyes. Let's take the time to really get to know a person. Maybe they'll become one of the best friends you've ever had. Perhaps you'll learn something from them, or have something to offer yourself.
Stuttering, like all other "stigmas" is a part of life. My curvature of the spine, though hard to deal with at times, has made me a better person. It's given me the compassion to look at others through different eyes. May we all find the courage to befriend someone with "differences", someone who may just change our lives for the better as we accept them and grow into the person God wants us to become.
http://www.amazon.com/Shadow-my-Fathers-Secret-ebook/dp/B00C50FKJE/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1365980927&sr=1-5&keywords=karen+malena
Showing posts with label curvature of the spine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label curvature of the spine. Show all posts
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Scoliosis
Recently I was talking with an old friend about her daughter. She was thanking me for being there for her when her daughter was going through spinal surgery for scoliosis. She mentioned that someone should write a blog, sharing their experience with curvature of the spine to help others who may be going through this trauma.
You see, when I was about twelve years old, I noticed something about myself in the mirror. When a young girl should begin to develop curves, I was developing lumps. Something was distinctly wrong with the image looking back at me.
My pants were fitting funny, my back was aching. It wasn't until my poor mother was scratching my back one day, and noticed something very wrong with me, did we even know there was something to be truly concerned about.
All I could do was panic and cry when mom said we should call for a doctor appointment. I think I had been fooling myself that something would change.
I asked Mom what she thought we would find out when we saw the doctor. Did she think they had to do some type of surgery on me? She assured me, no, there was probably nothing like that which I would have to go through.
Was she wrong! We sat in a specialists office with a doctor who had no bedside manner whatsoever. He blurted out that I had scoliosis, would need a spinal fusion, which was major surgery, and would be in a body cast for almost a year. Surgery was quickly scheduled.
In June of my twelfth year, I found myself in Children's Hospital, amidst young people with so many different stories. Some of them had the curvature which I had, yet others had even more serious issues.
During my time there, I met some wonderful angels in the form of the nurses, candy stripers, volunteers and other patients. I was to learn through each of these people something which I would take with me for the rest of my life. Courage, determination, hope, patience.
We all learned to communicate on our hospital ward with pen and paper. My parents were the couriers who brought the notes back and forth to all of us children going through many different surgeries, as we couldn't get out of our hospital beds.
I was in the hospital for three weeks. My parents were so very strong for me at that time. I would never know how hard it was for them, seeing their little girl going through so many things. But they were my saviors, and strength. The cards and letters that family members and friends sent, were encouragement to me. Books became my best friend at that time.
It was not easy at first but after leaving the hospital, adapting to a new style of life in a body cast soon became second nature to me. I had to be tutored at home, since school was going to be difficult.
I didn't like feeling so different from other girls I was seeing. They were beautiful, curvy, free from the confines of a plaster prison. I felt like some sort of freak show whenever I would go anywhere with my parents, as people always stared at the huge contraption I was wearing. I think the only place I felt normal, was at the hospital, or doctor's office for the many xrays they had to take.
A smaller cast was placed on me after about eight months, and it was strange having my neck free to move about once again. Something I had taken for granted before, but it all felt so free! I could move again!
The hardest part is being a young teenager when you are going through something like this. Feeling like an alien, or feeling like an outcast. But know there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it is all worthwhile. Our bodies are free from severe deformity. Something people in the past weren't even able to go through. Let's thank the Lord above that there are surgeons out there, good surgeons who do their jobs well.
Let's all be a light for one another, and pass our stories along to help the next person possibly going through the trauma of spinal surgery.
http://www.amazon.com/My-Mothers-Kitchen-Potters-ebook/dp/B00B8GL2CA/ref=sr_1_6?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1365980927&sr=1-6&keywords=karen+malena
You see, when I was about twelve years old, I noticed something about myself in the mirror. When a young girl should begin to develop curves, I was developing lumps. Something was distinctly wrong with the image looking back at me.
My pants were fitting funny, my back was aching. It wasn't until my poor mother was scratching my back one day, and noticed something very wrong with me, did we even know there was something to be truly concerned about.
All I could do was panic and cry when mom said we should call for a doctor appointment. I think I had been fooling myself that something would change.
I asked Mom what she thought we would find out when we saw the doctor. Did she think they had to do some type of surgery on me? She assured me, no, there was probably nothing like that which I would have to go through.
Was she wrong! We sat in a specialists office with a doctor who had no bedside manner whatsoever. He blurted out that I had scoliosis, would need a spinal fusion, which was major surgery, and would be in a body cast for almost a year. Surgery was quickly scheduled.
In June of my twelfth year, I found myself in Children's Hospital, amidst young people with so many different stories. Some of them had the curvature which I had, yet others had even more serious issues.
During my time there, I met some wonderful angels in the form of the nurses, candy stripers, volunteers and other patients. I was to learn through each of these people something which I would take with me for the rest of my life. Courage, determination, hope, patience.
We all learned to communicate on our hospital ward with pen and paper. My parents were the couriers who brought the notes back and forth to all of us children going through many different surgeries, as we couldn't get out of our hospital beds.
I was in the hospital for three weeks. My parents were so very strong for me at that time. I would never know how hard it was for them, seeing their little girl going through so many things. But they were my saviors, and strength. The cards and letters that family members and friends sent, were encouragement to me. Books became my best friend at that time.
It was not easy at first but after leaving the hospital, adapting to a new style of life in a body cast soon became second nature to me. I had to be tutored at home, since school was going to be difficult.
I didn't like feeling so different from other girls I was seeing. They were beautiful, curvy, free from the confines of a plaster prison. I felt like some sort of freak show whenever I would go anywhere with my parents, as people always stared at the huge contraption I was wearing. I think the only place I felt normal, was at the hospital, or doctor's office for the many xrays they had to take.
A smaller cast was placed on me after about eight months, and it was strange having my neck free to move about once again. Something I had taken for granted before, but it all felt so free! I could move again!
The hardest part is being a young teenager when you are going through something like this. Feeling like an alien, or feeling like an outcast. But know there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it is all worthwhile. Our bodies are free from severe deformity. Something people in the past weren't even able to go through. Let's thank the Lord above that there are surgeons out there, good surgeons who do their jobs well.
Let's all be a light for one another, and pass our stories along to help the next person possibly going through the trauma of spinal surgery.
http://www.amazon.com/My-Mothers-Kitchen-Potters-ebook/dp/B00B8GL2CA/ref=sr_1_6?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1365980927&sr=1-6&keywords=karen+malena
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