A New Life

This past week I lost a beautiful friend. This woman knew the true meaning of kindness, gentleness, selflessness and love. She stood for what is good and right. She had a heart for God and her fellow man. I never saw her angry. I never heard an unkind word come out of her mouth. All I heard were positive statements, encouragement and prayers. I once was the recipient of one of the strongest prayers anyone ever prayed for me or a family member from her.

One morning, as we got together to discuss our writing projects, my friend asked if we could pray out loud together before we chatted. She asked if I had anything specific on my heart. When I shared a recent hurt with her, not only did we pray about it together, but she made a point to pray as if the situation was already resolved. She thanked God for taking care of it. She spoke confidently and boldly in one of the most powerful prayers I'd ever heard.

This woman also had a generous spirit. As an author, I know only too well how difficult it is to make a small profit from writing. When we purchase our own books for events, they are costly, and we try to perhaps make a few dollars with each sale. The book she'd written was centered around women who wanted to change their lives. Each of them had issues, a group of friends who met and encouraged one another. It was a wonderful story, and lives were changed by it. My friend would attend author events and announce at the end of her talk that if anyone wasn't able to afford her book, she would gladly give them one for free. She was like that. Nothing mattered except to be a blessing.

I want that legacy. I want someone to write words about me that I lived for others. Oh, I know I have had a good heart for people from time to time. But I find myself annoyed when called upon to go above and beyond lately. I think things out, and decide on the easier option--the more comfortable one. But what if I made a huge change? What if when I went to work, I looked for more to do instead of less? If I searched out things in the office to make my co-workers lives easier. What if I made that phone call to someone lonely instead of putting it off because I didn't have enough time to myself after a busy day? What if I listened to the still, small prompting that God places on my heart every so often to go out of my way for someone else?

This morning was one example. I've been praying since my friend's death for God to use me each day. I've been praying for the desire to be a blessing to others. I got up for church, hubby had to work, so I knew I'd be going alone. But I like my alone time. The drive is quiet and pleasant. It's time for me to reflect and talk to God from my heart. And sitting by myself in church feels wonderful, because I can speak quietly to the Lord without distraction. Today was different. I learned a valuable lesson: never ask God about being a blessing to others if you aren't prepared for an immediate answer. I thought about a friend up the road who had just undergone knee surgery about a month-and-a-half ago. I knew she hadn't been back to church recently. It bothered me all morning about texting her, asking if she'd like for me to pick her up and go with me. So I listened to the voice in my heart and phoned her. She was ecstatic. She emphatically said "yes," and the extra twenty minutes or so it took out of my private little morning was well worth it.

We had great conversation. She smiled and thanked me several times. She told me I'd made her day. Yes, that was much better than my selfish little cocoon that I sometimes weave myself into. It's not easy to give up parts of who we are. Especially when moments are so limited when we work full time, or are a caregiver or wife and mother. My time is precious, for it is time to write--painting pictures with my words, inventing fictional towns and characters to inspire others. But what good am I if I don't live that sort of life--the true reaching out to others type of living that goes the extra step, leaves the zone of comfort and becomes a light to make someone else's world a little brighter?

By the way, the prayer my dear friend prayed so strongly for me that day so long ago did get answered in a major, powerful way. It wasn't overnight, but it was in God's timing; a perfect timing no less.

Here's to you, Michele, dear friend, beautiful lady, big heart, and kindhearted person. You made my world a better place. You left a legacy of such a good, good life behind. May I begin to follow in the footprints you indelibly left behind to make such a mark in the world.

A most creative reuniting

Social media can be a wonderful tool when wielded properly and in the right hands. Seriously, think about finding long lost cousins, uncles, aunts and friends. Think about how cool it is to type a name in a search engine and find someone you knew from way back when.

In the early nineteen-eighties, my mother and father owned a small Mom-and-Pop grocery store in my old hometown of Ambridge, Pennsylvania. During their few years there, they met many interesting people and rekindled friendships with people from their past. One such lady stands out head and shoulders above the rest.

Her name was Norma Jean and she and my mom knew one another from childhood. I had heard of her, but hadn't met her until the Eighth Street Dairy (the Mom-and-Pop). Norma and my mother became as soul mates. Two kindred spirits who'd found one another again and spent countless hours gabbing and laughing when there was down time in the old store. Norma was one of the most witty ladies we'd ever known. Her humor was deadpan and clever. She also had a heart of gold. It still warms me to think of her, though she'd passed away many years now.

Norma had several sons, and I later wondered what had become of them. I eventually moved from my town, and lost contact with so many people. Enter Facebook: that wonderful social media tool. I found one of Norma's sons, a chap who is close in age to me. Through cosmic magic, we began chatting and formed an online friendship. His name is Vincent and I can certainly see a lot of his mother in him: Intelligent and witty, with heart. Yes, he is certainly a testimony to good parenting.

I found out that friend Vincent is a Living History Primitive Pre 1840 Rendezvous encampments & Heritage Education for the Public, in period correct dress & using period correct accoutrements, camp gear and cooking re-enactor. Phew, I know. That's a lot of words. But to properly explain the wonderful thing he did for me recently, you need to know what he does.

Vincent has helped edit and critique several of my writing projects, and for that I am grateful. But when I saw another talent of his recently, I couldn't believe it. You see, not only does he dress in the clothing of a bygone era, but this man has a gift to recreate period piece items. And I just happen to be totally enamored of a certain period, owing it all to Ms. Diana Gabaldon for coming up with the most wonderful world of "Outlander" and Jamie and Claire Fraser.

"Outlander" is perfect escapism for me and so many others. It is well-written, well-acted and just darn good. I have a small bracelet from the show, but I spotted my old friend making Sporrans. What, you may ask is a Sporran? Well, I am going to show and tell. Jamie Fraser and his band of Scottish rebels always have their trusty Sporran aka "man pouch" belted 'round their kilts. They carry precious items, or perhaps weapons, but all I wanted was to own one of these beautiful items. To feel more kinship with these imaginary, but totally real-in-my-mind characters.

So I kindly asked Vincent, and he kindly obliged. I'm not sure any arm-twisting or begging went along with it, but as you will see by the pictures below, and hear in his own words, the painstaking process of recreating such a fine article.

Vincent:
Ah the joy of anachronisms, that ever enjoyable search for the charming artifact, accoutrement or trinket from what we intuitively feel is a reminder of the romance from a bygone era!

Well, in reality in those bygone days, life was harder, shorter (on average across all ages of people), more dangerous and survival depended upon being able to make any article quickly and made to last.  In fact old worn items we consider charming heirloom are affectionately known as "antiques."  Way back when, the folks of the olden days ALSO called their great grandma's old beat up articles "antiques," but they used that term derisively, synonymous with "antiquated!"

Enter my reproductions of good old leather bags and pouches from 300 years ago.  I make these to last, I have methods to make these articles quickly but well constructed to last at least two or three generations.  I don't sell them, mainly give them away at reenactor rendezvous gatherings as prize donations or occasionally in trade with friends in exchange for their own skills or transfer of knowledge. 

The sporran (Celtic for "purse" ) was just a simple drawstring pouch worn over a kilt belt in Scotland, to contain a few coins, some food, and other sundry supplies. 300 years ago no one had pockets (except the lady who wore a cloth bag tied on her apron, actually  termed a "pocket!"), let alone a kilt wearing Highlander!  So the sporran was a necessary accoutrement if said Scotsman wanted to travel or even go out in the windswept heather in polite company (sporrans also held the kilt front from lifting up!).

I try to re-create these items using original methods, darkening the leather with iron acetate made from vinegar and chunks of iron as has been done back to ancient Roman times.  I stitch only with hand waxed linen or hemp thread. 

Having said all that, I still maintain, "Get over the charm, People!  It's just a drawstring pouch!  Waxing poetic over it is the same as getting excited over a DSW shoe store paper bag or one of those cloth environmentally friendly shopping bags!"  (Well maybe 300 years from NOW!)

I'm certain that a little eyeball rolling may have gone along with this project, for you see, my friend patiently listened to my Outlander-inspired fanaticism. I must admit. . . I did ask for Jamie Fraser's name to be stenciled or burned into my own Sporran. Check it out.

  But being a good sport, he had this to say:

 While the maker jokingly disparages what he calls the romance of bygone days, yet there is a magic and a continuity to looking back, having a tangible reminder of those who've gone before us, cementing a bond and a bridge from their lives to ours, that keeps us on a level footing and allows us to carry on our lives with an honor and dignity that we believe they'd approve of.

Here's to social media then! For bringing friendships back together. For letting us reconnect with truly amazing people. Raise a glass the Scottish way! Slainte!


 

Stepping into a new position

In a very short time, I will be moved up in the dental office I have worked in for the last ten years to the position of office manager. My dear, longtime friend and current office manager, Kathy will be retiring.

Thinking back to June of 2006, I remember being overjoyed at being hired in this office. The ladies I worked with, and even the female dentist all got along amazingly well. I made some of the best friends of my life here. We worked hard, but made time for laughter.

I'd come from a small town, and a very small dental practice that had been there for years. I worked for an excellent dentist whose work was impeccable. The patients in that practice were mostly elderly folks that I would come to love and care for in such a way, that when I moved away from my hometown and had to leave the comfort of the place I'd worked at for twenty-seven years, it would be with many tears that I would do so.

Kathy would make me feel welcome, she would believe in me when she taught me computer skills that I hadn't possessed at my old job. She would encourage and teach in such a way that I wouldn't even see her doing it. She had a warm, listening ear, and a sassy sense of humor. Though she was my boss, my superior, she never made her employees feel less than. Kathy had a way of building each of us up, stating our accomplishments and cheering us on when she believed we deserved it.

When she announced her retirement two short months ago, my first thoughts were selfish ones. Oh no, I thought. What are we going to do without her? And most importantly, who is going to step into her position, or who might we hire to fill her shoes?

When I was told it would be me, at first I declined. I'm not good enough, I thought. The words that have always been such a part of my vocabulary. And of course, I can't do things as well as Kathy can.

My next thoughts were worse. I've got to say goodbye to someone I really care about. A friend who has given me advice and counsel. A woman I've shared some of the deepest thoughts of my life with. I am going to miss her terribly. I don't want her to go.

Kathy has been teaching me all along even though I didn't realize it. The few more difficult tasks that I've learned recently are pushing me well out of my comfort zone. And that is a good thing. For when we get stuck doing the same things day in and out, not challenging our minds, we become stagnant and a little stuck. How on earth are we to advance in our lives if we don't embrace something a little harder than we've always done?

I'm ready to embrace a new title. And once again, we have a super team of co-workers and a newer boss whose enthusiasm is contagious and fun. I'm finally eager to take on more responsibilities with the same poise and grace my predecessor had done.

Oh, and the best news of all: Our dear Kathy has decided to remain with us one day a week. I will certainly look forward now to this special day, a day when we can catch up as friends, a day when we will have so much to talk about. I count myself blessed to have this lovely woman as one of the best friends I've ever known. And I'll take her words and sayings with me forever.

Here's to you, Kathy, for all you've done for us through the years. You truly are a very great lady.

Coincidence or Destiny

There are times in life when we have to sit back, scratch our heads and wonder if a meeting was by chance or by the touch of God's hand.

A few years ago, while sitting at a table during a writing seminar, I was looking over the program of events for the day. The names of the other attendees were also included, and I noticed that a name of one of the ladies was from my quaint, old hometown. Since I'd moved away from there, I always felt a bit nostalgic about it. Here I was far from home once again, and wondering if I could somehow ask around and perhaps meet this author. I'd love a chance to chat with someone from where I'd grown up. So many faces, so many people. And the seminar was going to begin soon. Would I have a chance to find her?

We all wore name tags that day. I happened to glance across the round table where I was sitting. A very pleasant woman sat across from me. I looked at the name on her tag, then down at the program. It was her! This was the woman from my town! We got to chatting, one thing led to another and a new friendship was forged. She's helped me in my own writing career with editing and ideas. And I'm very excited to do upcoming writing seminars with her. But today is her day, and I'd like to introduce my good friend, Alicia Stankay:

 Alicia Stankay is a writer living in Ambridge, PA. Her writing journey began when she was twelve and wrote her first book, The Riddle of the Missing Rings. That story still exists in its original book form, a black-and-white composition notebook. It still preserves the black crayon mark circles and purple scribbles of her younger siblings, making it a one-of-a-kind creative effort. Many unpublished poems and short stories later, she finally published her first children’s short stories while raising her own children. As her children matured, her writing advanced to adult short stories, and her foray into contests started bearing fruit. Many of those winning stories appear in her two collections of short stories, Between Two Bears: Short Stories on the Journey of Life (co-written with Bruce Midkiff) and Tales of Twenty Women: Reflections on Love.

Combining her love of nature with her enjoyment of hiking and photography allows her to document flowers, butterflies, and mushrooms, along with other natural settings. From May to July 2014, two of her photos were showcased with other artwork in the Merrick Art Gallery’s Legacy Exhibition in New Brighton, PA. When not using her imagination writing stories, she uses it playing with her four grandchildren in the role of a princess, or acting as Robin, Batman’s sidekick, or flying on the “pretend airplane” visiting the “pretend Disney World.” Most importantly, of course, she loves reading stories to them.

A short story that appears in Tales of Twenty Women sparked an idea for her first novel. She just recently published Beyond the Bridge, titled with the same name as the story, but with a different slant. Her photos also grace the front covers of all three of her books. Besides being a member of an Ambridge writer’s group, Taproot Literary Workshop, she also belongs to the Ligonier Valley Writers, and Pennwriters. Her books are available on Amazon and Kindle. http://www.amazon.com/Alicia-Stankay/e/B00A8SAR1G